So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
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did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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