shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize