she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
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I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
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I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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