6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize