Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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