Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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