Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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