For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
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tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
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There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
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