and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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