i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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