# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i love accidental penises.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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