i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize