dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize