bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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