Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize