I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
ugly people sure do ruin things
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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