he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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