Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize