Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
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my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
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You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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