I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
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It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
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I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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