if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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