home. puking in laundry basket.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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