im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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