Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.

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(415): God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave. http://tfl.nu/thh8

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(337): View more from Louisiana

They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.

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(337): They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out. http://tfl.nu/7k9a

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(802): View more from Vermont

and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?

(1-802): View more from Vermont

not the response he usually gets im sure.

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(802): and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college? (1-802): not the response he usually gets im sure. http://tfl.nu/gci3

Replies (17) Good night (1504) Bad night (3524)
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(702): View more from Nevada

I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore

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(702): I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore http://tfl.nu/l7gt

Replies (37) Good night (5476) Bad night (1997) Order T-Shirt
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(770): View more from Georgia

I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.

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(770): I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high. http://tfl.nu/dl85

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.

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(617): I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made. http://tfl.nu/enkt

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.

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(203): Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good. http://tfl.nu/s47l

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.

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(+44): I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka. http://tfl.nu/sj2z

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(519): View more from Ontario

It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.

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(519): It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina. http://tfl.nu/mbje

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(601): View more from Mississippi

I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"

(601): View more from Mississippi

Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.

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(601): I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?" (601): Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success. http://tfl.nu/blht

Replies (5) Good night (1848) Bad night (486)
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(941): View more from Florida

Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.

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(941): Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game. http://tfl.nu/smzi

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(785): View more from Kansas

They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.

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(785): They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though. http://tfl.nu/ta81

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(778): View more from British Columbia

it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body

(1-778): View more from British Columbia

I wish I could understand how you function in society

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(778): it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body (1-778): I wish I could understand how you function in society http://tfl.nu/9z0t

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(218): View more from Minnesota

I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.

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(218): I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara. http://tfl.nu/7g4h

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(443): View more from Maryland

You pole danced in your parka.

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(443): You pole danced in your parka. http://tfl.nu/lknf

Replies (4) Good night (489) Bad night (153) Order T-Shirt

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