So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize