I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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