its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
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Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
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After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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