the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
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It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
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My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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