theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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