My hand turned me down
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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