my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Sober January is a disaster.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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