we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
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He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
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Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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