What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize