The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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