no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
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Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
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I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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