If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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