it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize