Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
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