I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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