Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize