i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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