If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
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Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
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The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
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