I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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