His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize