we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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