i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
We are two peas in an std pod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize