And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
You smell like a Billy Joel song
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize