It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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