a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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