my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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