I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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